One of the main things in most of the books I’ve read revolves around you not getting too “clingy” with the person of your desires.
It’s funny what you figure out… but don’t really put a finger on when you do. This is one of the things I figured out pretty early on…
Look, a person has to wonder why you are calling them all of the time… why you are always trying to be with them.
Do you have anything better to do?
If not, it’s psycho city, my friend.
I have to confess, most people understand that almost all relationships end at some point. So, if this is the case, people also want to know that if it DOES end… that you aren’t going to go crazy on them.
Weird, huh? You haven’t even gotten started and they are already thinking of the end.
Uh… not really, ha, ha.
They only start thinking of the end when you start smothering them… then these thoughts start to come into play.
Remember, self control is an extremely sexy quality… don’t EVER let that go… EVER!
Okay, so we’ve discussed the BAD reasons for being on top of someone… let’s talk about the GOOD reasons on why you shouldn’t smother people.
Numero Uno — When people don’t see you for a while… your mystery and intrigue grow to that person. Curiosity is a GOOD thing. Your value grows. People don’t take you for granted. Remember, when people see you all of the time … you become COMMON.
Numero Two — People’s imaginations are CRAZY. If they like you… or you do some of the things I’ll talk about on this blog to increase attraction… they’ll start to wonder WHY you aren’t calling… if you’re seeing someone else… do you like them… etc… Of course, coupling this fact with “When To Shut Your Mouth” brings a very satisfactory result. You WANT people thinking about you as much as possible. This increases sexual tension.
Numero Three — People respect you and your TIME more. You’ll see less flaky behavior because, quite frankly, these people know that this might be the only time this week… or ever for that matter… that you’ll be able to hang out. Not only that, but the sense of urgency is increased and it becomes much easier to escalate to the physical once you have a person thinking that there is a huge possibility that they might not see you for a week or more.
You know, I didn’t think of this earlier but now I’m glad I did… I am going to write a totally separate post on “Sense Of Urgency” tomorrow… or maybe today.
It’s kind of a variation of the “push-pull”… but a little different.
Plus, I definitely need to get into the “aloof-healthy tension-psycho” diagram too at some point… don’t let me forget.
The basis behind this whole scenario is: make her think about you… if she’s not thinking about YOU… she’s probably thinking about someone else.
Get in her head… create some emotional responses… and start some FIRE.
A man said to a Dervish: “Why do I not see you more often?” The Dervish replied, “Because the words ‘Why have you not been to see me?’ are sweeter to my ear than the words ‘Why have you come again?'”
-Mulla Jami, quoted in Idries Shah’s Caravan of Dreams, 1968
And if you don’t think that’s enough…
After advising constant feints at withdrawal from one’s lover, Ninon de Lenclos wrote:
“Love never dies of starvation, but often of indigestion”
-from The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
Oh, and by the way, I know my Spanish sucks… lol
About Allen Elliott